Life

Life.
On Thursday  I was having a tough day, I was trying to do the washing up, boring job I know but after 20 odd years of not doing it it’s still a novelty for me. Suddenly I get the most horrendous pain between my shoulder blades, so most of washing up got done in 3 stages, the rest got left. I then sat and did nothing, hubby made us some lunch and we were talking about what we do about our new car. It has all been a monumental cock up because not yet being fluent in Spanish, it has been done through a friend and her brother in law. We are going to get complaint forms from the dealer and adaptation company as at moment they buck passing.
We then have to do the dreaded supermarket run, but thankfully now I can use my electric chair with having new adapted car lol. It was easier than often as we are off on holiday on Monday, so didn’t need to much.
Home and unpack shopping then check phone for any messages. I’m strange unless I’m expecting an important message or to hear back about something I turn notifications off, I also am not always looking at my phone, so many other things to see. Me noisy never, I’m just more curious than your average cat 😄😄.
There is an email from hobbies brother about his mum. She had a fall on 29th December and was still in hospital, having had her 81st birthday in there. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer and given maybe a month. Unsurprisingly she wanted to see all her 3 kids before she goes. She knew we were about to go off on holiday so was just hoping to last out I think.
So we had discussions over dinner and decided to look at flights to UK and see what we could work out. Eventually we managed to get flight for next morning, Friday to UK but it meant a 3 hour drive to airport. We got things sorted changed our flights we had booked for holiday and reorganised them all to allow us to spend till Monday in UK.
Then had to tell neighbour his services weren’t needed for airport run on Monday. Got back to house and realised we hadn’t book parking at airport, oops.
Then we had to pack, only for 2 totally different climates. Not so difficult for me as I don’t have that many clothes but as for hubby just to many to chose from 😄😄😄. So I think it was about 1.30am I got to bed, and alarm was set for 6am 🤤🤤.
It was only a 3 hour drive to airport, but we were driving towards the sunrise, only bit too cloudy 😐. Managed to phone Keith’s father from airport to let him know we were coming, I had also managed to book somewhere to stay in UK. At times the internet has really good use.
It was a quite quick and uneventful journey, and what a surprise, it was raining when we landed. I so do not miss the rain.
Picked up a car, which one of the guys brought round to us and helped us get stuff in car, so different from last time at same airport. Then straight to hotel to dump cases.
Got to hospital and as always looking for somewhere to park. Noticed after we found a place we thought would be worth taking a chance with, that they had built a multi story car park, only £3 an hour. All day for 1€ in Spain.
Found the ward and mother and father. Mother did not look good she had lost a lot of weight, didn’t have her teeth in and had head back and mouth open. It was wonderful to see the smile when she realised we were there. We had said we would only do a short visit, 3 and half hours later…
I managed to make friends with the nurse and asked what was actually happening, we knew that there had been a referral to the local hospice so I wanted to find out what was happening. Mother told me that I wouldn’t hear back from the nurse, I said I will or I will go ask again!
So plan is to get her home under care package from hospice, but as usual everyone in family has had to put in their 10 penny’s worth. So mother in her not lucid times is convinced she is going to make father penniless with all the care she will need. Thankfully my mother in law knows me well and knows I don’t sugar coat things, so took all I said on board and even managed to giggle with hubby and I a few times. Not so difficult when you are like hubby and I and laugh at the world and life. We also managed to relief some of irritating prickly itches by putting on moisturiser. It changes the sensation therfore helps. Helps on any scab to, stops it drying out and pulling skin so much, plus also much less of a scar afterwards to.
By the time we left she looked so much better, she and I had talked about the bad dreams she was having, so I tried to explain that it happens as you don’t often sleep deeply in hospital so you dream lots and being in a strange environment you can be convinced that you are going mad. Telling her about the dreams is something I will keep doing just to get it into her brain.
We were staying in a premier inn, one we used to use restaurant of fairly often when we lived in UK. We asked for table for 2 and were told by 2 of staff there were no tables, but manager we had spoken to earlier when we had much needed drink on arrival found us one. We knew one of the staff from before, he had left and returned and found out that the manager was still the same person but she was on holiday. Much to our surprise and pleasure we saw the manager the following morning, so nice to catch up.
For some strange reason I was a little tired 😄😄can’t think why lol. Next morning we pigged out with a cooked breakfast. Then we went to visit mother again. She was sat up in bed having just had her wash and looked good. Hubbies brother and wife arrived so we made ourselves scarce and said we would return later.
When we got back to car we help a guy start his car, his battery was flat bless, first good deed.
I had thought about getting cover for new tablet but it was cold and wet so changed my mind. Went to supermarket to find some treats to tempt the patient to eat, like most of us mother was not enjoying hospital food. I remember during my nursing training (admittedly back in the dark ages ). We were told patients needed tempting food to encourage them to eat and help body repair. That went out of the window then 😀😀.
Whilst in supermarket met a lady who was visually impaired so helped her out and had a little chat, 2nd good deed.
We also thought it might be a good idea to make sure father had some lunch, as he wasn’t most days, he like lots of us when our other half not around and also when so worried was going to pieces. They have been together over 60 yrs and he still worships her 💖💘
He at first didn’t want any lunch, but had just had a phone call which sounded like his daughter giving him a list of orders. He actually just fell into the chair hanging his head for a few minutes. So we just continued talking about not a lot for a bit longer. Then he said what did you say was for lunch? It did him good to do something normal and routine, first time in 3 weeks I think. We didn’t think he was going to eat all of his filled roll, but just gave him time. Then he even managed a cake, ok so not the most healthy lunch ever but it was food. It also did him the power of good to sit and just chat about other things, hubby was asking him about what to do with some things in our garden, as they are both keen gardeners. 3rd good deed.
We then went back to the hospital, according to patient opposite, whom now gets a kiss hello and goodbye every visit, mother had been very upset earlier, screaming, shouting and crying. So we both sat holding her hands and got her talking. She couldn’t remember what the front of her house looked like and thought she would never see it again. Quite a while later on she suddenly got the picture back in her head and was talking to father about the snowdrops and daffodils out there. That was a brilliant moment.
We tried some of the food we had brought, only we didn’t have brown bread and butter to go with the dressed crab, nor a spot of vinegar. At this time she didn’t know where she was so I did get a giggle when I told her that this hospital didn’t have a 5 star restaurant attached. So we tried the smoked salmon or smacked salmon as I called it. I do get my mucking words fuddled, most peeps with M&S blame that, I just blame me being blonde (Well was once 😄)and having big boobs lol. Salmon was better after being dipped in water!! what ever it takes I say. They crab worked better with water treatment too, success. Then we had a spoonful of raspberry posset, she could taste raspberry, so that was 3 things that she could actually taste, we were on a roll. I had also bought her some of her fav make of chocolate but milk not dark and been told by father it would be not good. She even tried that and could taste the caramel.
Typically then supper arrived. Tomato soup and chocolate sponge and custard. We needed help getting top of breaker as she wanted it of a spoon, I was asked to taste soup as she could decide what it tasted of, powder says I. Yes that’s it. She like me is a Heinz Cream of Tomato girl and this powdery concealed mess was nothing like it. The chocolate sponge and custard very nearly got spat out, far too sweet. Think supermarket trip was good idea. Another good deed, I love days like this.
As we were leaving I said goodnight to mother and got goodnight “daughter” in response accompanied with one of those straight into soul looks. Wow thank you mother.
By now i was getting very tired, cold and hurting. So into restaurant ask if any tables, no sorry just “no chance”, Then under manager from night before comes along speaks to another member of staff and we get seated. Thankfully the restaurant and hotel work together as that meant we could bring our drinks back to room so I could fall into bed. Think it was about 8.30pm, I slept till 6am.
Let hubby sleep for bit more then got up for breakfast. Hubby decided to have a boiled egg took ages to arrive and when he took top off egg white was clear not white, unfortunately for shift manager he was showing others to their table at the time I presented with the said egg, brilliant timing.
I saw a young girl walk past with wonderfully sparkly fabric with flashing light boots on,  ” Oh I want a pair” says I, no chance with feet your size says hubby. Little girls mum was brilliant as she then said what about his taking me to see her son’s, they flashed multi colours around the sole. I wanted them too, but again feet too big 😄😄.
There was another family who I noticed, I just people watch all the time, mum was not using her right arm and had great difficulty getting her jacket on. As they passed I just mentioned, always put bad bit in first and take out last, easier and less painful. She had damaged her shoulder. I also suggested that if she tucked her fingers under her bra strap and rested arm next to body, it would give it some support and make things a bit easier. It is so easy to help others you just have to think.
I had appropriated some brown bread and butter, thought it would be an idea to go with the crab and smacked salmon, only I couldn’t find any “drops” of vinegar. Oh well you can’t have everything they say!! Also I picked up 2 dark chocolate croissants just in case…….
Father wanted to have talk with hubby and brother so I said I would go and sit with mother, we had 2 hours of her talking to me about all sorts, her childhood, her kids, her awful nightmares she was having and what might happen when/If she got to go home. I feel so privaliged to have had this time with her and got told I was like a daughter to her. She said she wished that we could have been around for the meeting about sending her home “as you would know what help we would need” I also had thought the same but we were not going to miss our dream holiday.
Hubby then arrived and we stayed for a little longer but she was tired and needed to rest, so we said we would go back later. The couple of mouthfuls of dark chocolate croissant went down well to.
Then what do you do on a wet Sunday afternoon! I needed a cover for my new tablet/phone and only place around was Currys/PC World never been a place of choice for us but thought we would try it. Found a pack with cover stylus and screen protector so decided something better than nothing. Hour and a half later and 4 screen protectors later I said don’t bother I’ll not bother. Some things never change.
Stopped and had a drink and then back to hospital. We stayed until they were settling patients down for night.
Then it was where do we go to eat. Our favorite Indian restaurant was still there but when we went before leaving for UK the staff had changed and were not doing things the owners way and we were so disappointed. We had seen him in another of his restaurants on our last trip back and been told they had all been gotten rid off, so we thought it worth a try. We were not disappointed it was as it has always been superb, we sent a pic to the owner who then promptly phoned us back. It was a lovely end to a good day.
Head didn’t really touch pillow before I was snoring 😄😴💤.
Now it’s Monday morning and we have to fly to Madrid for overnight stay before flying off on holiday.
Arrived in Madrid, what a huge airport so pleased that airports have special assistance, it’s the only way to travel.
Got taxi to hotel, had chosen one fairly nearby. So thankful that I can still manage a few steps (actually a lot more since move to Spain), as there were steps up to reception and lift to small for wheelchair, but they did have a disabled access bathroom in room, is it just me or is this just totally ridiculous. I know that many places have to have some disabled facilities, but whats the use if the disabled accessable bathroom is itself inaccessible. I know compiling with the law that says you must have. THE LAW IS AN ASS.
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Being Me part 1

I am discovering slowly that I am different, I’m only 58, very slow learner.

Like most I was bullied at school, me because I was fat. I also lived in a family that liked to take the mick. Which was ok it toughened you up and made you fight back. Life was pretty idilic until I was 8ish then my father started to make comments about my size. He was teasing but it hurt, he was supposed to love me. We also moved into a pub when I was 10 so I didn’t see much of parents after that. I did find that I enjoyed pub life though, I could take the mick and tease as much as I liked.

By 12 I was helping behind the bar, I lived it. I was fully aware of why I wa being asked for things of the top or bottom shelf depending upon what I was wearing. I was also very interested in boys from an early age, I think I was looking for someone to show me I was worth something as hadn’t been made to feel that way.

My father and I had a hard time when I was in my teens, up till then my brother and I had always been treated the same, but now 1 rule for him and another for me. I didn’t go down well when I called him a hypocrite, but he shouldn’t have encouraged me to think for myself. The comments about my size were getting worse, more frequent and in front of the customers. I wasn’t normal as I wasn’t a nice size 12 like my Mum, by 14 I was needing a 40D bra. Which I couldn’t buy locally.

I left home at 18 and moved to Wales so I was near my Mum’s family. I started training to be a nurse something I had wanted to be since I was 12. It was hard work but also great fun. There were a crowd of us who were known as the party animals any excuse for us, worked hard played hard. I had a lot of different boyfriends could never seem to find the right 1. I didn’t like sleeping on my own so would bring someone home I thought that by having someone there touching me I was getting love/affection, so wrong but I didn’t know what love was apart from my dogs.

I eventually moved to London to work, I hated it such a lonely city. I met my 1st hubby through a sexy mag advert. Then 7 weeks later went to Saudi Arabia to work. Was only there for 3 months as an Arab bus driver tried to rape me. I was flown home on supposed sick leave, but had been advised not to go back. There was talk of going to court not a good idea. 5 weeks later I got married but it wasn’t my day it was my mother in laws!! I stuck at the marriage for 7yrs only because if I hadn’t my father would have kept telling me I hadn’t tried.

I then went back to Wales as that felt most like home. I met up with some old friends and also made some new, but in wanting to be feeling like part of a family didn’t realise they were using me. It was my house that held the parties, my booze, my food and my beds and when it came that because of not paying bills my house was repossessed, non of them could be seen for dust. During this time I was having health problems, I had fallen and damaged my ankle, got diagnosed with MS. Plus a few months in the YMCA homeless. I then luckily was given a council flat so me and my Rottweiler could start again. Then I had back surgery which didn’t work, so was still in extreme pain plus starting to have problems due to MS. I was told to stay on bed rest to help my back, I lived on my own, apart from dog, in a 1 bedroon flat. Thankfully my uncle  who was in his 70’s came to look after me.