More tears and sleepless nights

Here we go again me in tears from way a supposed friend has treated me/us.

We met this woman pretty soon after we can to this area. She was ” the best of a bad bunch” of the Brits.
She was going through a divorce and trying to get her husband out of her house and sell it. Me being me tried to be my usual supportive self, as did hubby. She also enjoys a bottle of 2 of a similar wine to hubby. He is only a social drinker but enjoys having a drinking companion.
We would often meet up for tapas and drink or dinner, only we didn’t always agree on the venue. She prefers places that are pretentious, where the “right/beautiful” people go. We don’t, we prefer good food, good service and value for money.
She is doing up her boyfriends houses, with the idea of letting them out to films stars, the calibre of Tom Hanks. Lots of movies get made in this area.
She is also a name dropper, one of first things we heard from her was she used to work for Tiny Rowlands, an rich businessman. Only we found out that was only for 6 months. She was also once a model and ran a recruitment agency in London. This is really about all we had heard about her past and she was 60 last Sunday. Apart from that she had had a nervous breakdown when working for recruitment agency, so then sometime after ran a B&B, again name dropping about her guests.

Hubby and I knew she needed support and were happy to give, but we couldn’t understand how someone who had lived the life she had and travelled as she had could be so nieve and childish.

She befriended a notorious couple here, whom we had been warned off by the estate agent. Then when 💩 hits the fan, she expects everyone she knows not to talk to them.
Then she befriends a woman who she had already told me she doesn’t like and whom had screeched at me outside doctors, just after I’d been told there was nothing could be done for my eyes. And also shouted down the phone at hubby then told him to fuck off. All I’d done was try and get her man to finish work he’d been paid for. Great loyalty.

She then gets another Brit to work for her. There was also history between us, I’d made some bracelets for him to sell on his web site. He had some and I did a costing, never heard anymore!!

So I was asked by a friend of hers if she could post birthday present to me as she knew birthday girl was self isolating. Only she wasn’t.
So I said yes and duly kept visiting post office, only parcel didn’t arrive until Monday, day after birthday. I tried phoning to let her know I was coming, phone engaged twice, then rang but no answer twice. I get to her place and ring bell at gate, she has state of art video entry system. I rang twice, nothing. So I went to look through fence and shouted, her dog saw me and came running (he loves hubby and me). She then came to gate, took parcel and stepped well back. Told me she hadn’t heard the phone and couldn’t see anyone at gate, our van was in gateway!! So I will be polite but that’s it, next time she has a flood because a water pipe has burst we won’t be helping.

The guy who now works for her lives with his girlfriend in granny flat at Terry’s, my friend Rose’s son. So when I took beads up to Rose’s to keep her stimulated (she has advanced dementia), this guy Jules’s girlfriend and son join us and for 2 days I’m amusing 3 peeps. I ask the girlfriend to make something for Rose’s birthday. That never happened. Also having happily sat next to us on same table for 2 days and done a pedicure for me, 2 days later she had to keep a meter away from me. That was until she got drunk…..
I asked her for some money as they had made 10 bracelets. She said next month. So when I asked her yesterday for the money, I end up having to talk to Jules, well communicate through text.
I get told money is tight at the moment for everyone. But not me seemingly. He says I didn’t ask for the bracelets I made him back, no cause I thought you would answer my text about costing but didn’t.
He also spoke about my attitude, I think he should put that question to himself. He is 1 of the most rude and ignorant people hubby and I have ever met. He knows everything, he thinks and is always right.

So lockdown is being good for me, it’s showing me true colours of people.

Time for change

Yesterday morning hubby and I were outside having breakfast having our usual chat about all things and everything and of course at the moment it’s mainly to do with coronavirus. Hubby went off to feed Tom our feral ish pussycat, after we had finished our breakfast. It suddenly struck me that Tom doesn’t care if we haven’t brushed our hair, he doesn’t care if our clothes are okay, or even if we’re wearing clothes. He actually doesn’t care one little bit about how we look all he cares about is getting some food and some love. Like all animals he cares about the basics in life.
I think that maybe now after the world has had such a shock with this virus that maybe it’s time for the change, a big change, let’s get back to the basics in life and be happy like animals are. Animals don’t care about if they’re wearing the latest fashion, if they’re carrying the latest iPhone, if they’ve got the best car, if it got the biggest house, if they’ve got la la la, everything biggest and best. They care about having enough to eat, love and just a peaceful life. The human thinks they are so clever, but think that we need all these things to make us happy. We don’t learn from the animals. How does you animal react when you interact with it? Does your animal love to please you? That’s what makes them happy.
They don’t care what other animals think they just give love, when they are loved.
For far to many years we humans have been brainwashed into feeling we are not the right colour, shape, size or age. We are what we are. How many animals feel the need for plastic surgery?? Or counselling??
So maybe it’s time to step back and work out what we really need in life. Food, some shelter and some company if not love of another.
Material things will not make you happy, nor money buy you your health.

Up until the age of 37, I had lived a life of trying to please others, in the process losing my house and getting hurt by many who just wanted to take advantage of my good and giving nature for their benefit. I had been bullied, verbally abused, sexually abused and raped. I hadn’t felt loved since I was about 8, my father verbally abused me because I was fat. So I was very used to emotional and phycological pain. At 18 I started to experience physical pain due to a bad back. I had cancer of the cervix at 30, then at 35 was diagnosed with MS, then at 36 had back surgery. So became very used to physical pain.
Then I met my now hubby and for the first time in my life I knew love from another human, had always had unconditional love from my dogs, but now was getting it from a human.

Wow did my world change. My father still was saying horrible things when it was just him and I but never when hubby was around, I had a knight in shining armour. Or as I now call him my shite in knining armour, we laugh at most things.
Hubby didn’t have much money, I was pensioned off due to ill health. He had to give up smoking to be able to visit me in the beginning. We struggled to get our first home set up as when we moved in there wasn’t even a light bulb. Through the generosity of family and friends we got there and had enough for our needs. We were always very careful with money but had paid need to advice given by relative whose wife had died due to MS, he said do what you can whilst Jan is still able, you have rest of your life to pay money back.
We still didn’t go crazy, but we did try to ensure that we had some time in the sun every year as it helped me so much. Because of that many people though we were rich, yes we were but not in monetary sense.
We also always tried to help others in anyway we could. I would get strange looks when asking people if they needed help to carry their shopping bags when I was out in my wheelchair. Because of being this way we have had so much in return.

My uncle whom I went to look after when he’d had a stroke, I was not working as on crutches after a fall, he then came to help me when told to stay on bed rest because my back started to hurt again after surgery. I managed to get his name on rent book so he took over flat when I moved to be with hubby. He left us some money when he died.
A

lady I met at hospice day centre, lived 2 streets away, on her own with agency carers. I visited whenever I could, helped to try and get carers organised. Visited her in hospital and helped her sort her will out. She would forget what she wanted to say, I was her reminder.
When she died the solicitor called and told me then said hubby and I were getting everything apart from a few bits for family. No one but solicitor and us were meant to have a key. So imagine my surprise on going to house to meet them found them already inside. They were telling me what they were going to take, until I reminded them of new will. They took what was said they could, then stripped the garden of plants. Voltures.

I had also met a gentleman called Tom when I first moved to be with hubby. He was in his 70’s and had a partner. Only he was being used by her and her family, and not getting much back. Eventually his partner had to go into a home so he asked if I would keep him company at lunch some days. So often we would have lunch and then sit and chat at our house. If I didn’t feel like going out he would come around, hubby and him would have a drink. If we went anywhere we would ask him if he wanted to come, answer was always yes. We became a 3 some, and if we needed Tom we could ring him at anytime and he us, as he did 1 morning as he was bleeding having caught his arm on the door handle. He did wait till 6am though and really only rang as his hankie was soaked with blood. Tom said he would drive around to us, until we pointed out he couldn’t drive and put pressure on bleeding.
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we asked after returning from a Spanish holiday if he would come to Spain to live, his answer was an immediate yes. He knew he was going to be the finance, but said the love he was getting in return was priceless.

Then at our 3rd house in Spain we got chatting to our next door neighbour on our frequent trips down with our stuff. We moved in on the Wednesday, on Monday morning other neighbours called for my help as ex nurse. I went next door and George had been having a rolling heart attack all night. An ambulance was called and I was told to follow to medical centre, only I had to go get hubby and our vehicle. We didn’t know where medical centre was, but found it. After ECG we were told to follow ambulance to hospital. Again difficult but we managed. George didn’t speak as much Spanish as us, so was very grateful for me being able to tell him what was happening.
We visited him when we could, collected his girlfriend when she arrived from UK. Helped her as she could drive his car and generally made sure she was ok.
George died on operating table on the Thursday, she was booked to go home on Saturday. We again helped as much as possible and when she was able to return to sort out house and things. Lots of the contents went to house clearance, the rest came to us. Both her and I asked 1 morning how much we owed the other for everything. Nada.

To us this is how you should live. I’m now helping a friend who has brought his mum Rose to lived with him because she has dementia. So when I can I go and get Rose out for a bit, better than just being sat in front of telly. Before virus, we would take her out for lunch with us, her and I would go shopping and I bring her her to play crafts.
We can all help someone else, but it doesn’t have the same effect if you expect something in return.

Time  to care about our fellow inhabitants of the planet, and the planet, rather than just want more and more money or power.

Power corrupts.

Our Love Story

I suppose I had better give a little background before I jump into the Love Story.

In August 1991 I was diagnosed with MS, I also was medically retired. Then in February 1992 I had my house repossessed, my own fault as I was trying to buy friends. My house was where everyone came to eat, drink and sleep, without contribution of course. Then as I was having horrendous pain from my back, which I had injured through work, nursing. I decided it a time to get something done about my back, so I helped my dad move 5 ton of gravel, then went to A&E. Always been an all or nothing type me.

So I had back surgery whilst staying at the YMCA. Got a friend, non nurse, to take my clips out. In October I was given a council flat, which had a small area of grass, great for my rottweiler, Bruno, who I thankfully had been able to afford to put in kennels, with a little help from mum and dad.

I had an insurance claim come through so started to get some things done in the flat. I also now was getting pain again in my back. Was told it was due to inflammation and to go home and be on bed rest. I did mention that I lived alone, but that wasn’t their problem. So my uncle who was in his 70’s and was staying with my parents, said he would come and help me. He said it was payback for me going to Newcastle to help him and his wife after he had had a stroke.

My flat was only 1 bedroom, but he was happy on a fold down mattress in living room. I was lonely and feeling like my life was over. I knew I needed a boyfriend who would help me look after me. So I put an ad in the local paper, every morning at tea break my uncle, guy doing work on flat and I would read the reports. Most went in the bin as I did not see why so many seemed to think discretion was VERY important. John, guy doing work came in 1 day and said, ” I saw just the thing for you, Plump Partners, a dating agency for plump people or people who like plump people” My response was “no-one likes plump people”. I had always had problems because I was fat, guys liked my company but I wasn’t the size they were told they should go for. Also I thought am I that desperate, simple answer YES.

So I contacted the agency, and joined. Then waited for list of members. I had decided that I could drive probably about 100mls, only forgot about problem of getting to and from the car. Typical me.

The list arrived, women to start then the men. You got their name, age, weight and where in the country they were. I went through the list and thought maybe 10 I would be able to get to. First 1 on the list was K from Somerset, 29 and 10st. I nearly didn’t include him as I was 37 and had never gone for younger men.

So I spoke to agency again and was told that I wouldn’t need 10 names she would give me contact details for 6. So I got 3 phone numbers and 3 addresses. I didn’t want to try and sell myself by letter so tried the phone numbers first.

First call obviously was to first on list, K from Somerset. Bear in mind it’s April fools Day. So when I get an answer I say ” this is not an April Fool but I got your number from the agency”. What agency was the reply, “oh dear sorry I’ll put the phone down” I said. No it’s ok but I’m no longer a member! I didn’t find anyone though. So we started chatting, or should that be I started chatting, as I do talk a lot. We spoke for over half an hour, which I discover many months later is a miracle in itself as he hates phones.

I tried the other 2 numbers, no answer so forgot about it until 3rd of April the phone rings, I pick up and hear “hello gorgeous”. I look at the phone wondering what’s wrong with it as I’d never heard such words come through my phone before. This time we chat for over an hour. Then every night we spoke for up to 3 hours, we had not seen each other, just spoken. Mainly we talked about my MS as his family were very concerned about him getting involved with someone with such a disease. His father’s cousin’s wife had died from MS in her early 30’s.

Then Easter was coming up and his plans had fallen though, I had none. So I said he was welcome to visit, but remember it’s a 1 bedroom flat with me, my uncle and my rottweiler. Love him he knew a rottweiler was a dog but that was all. So we arranged he would come for the weekend, on the 8th. He arrived exactly on time. I had 1 nano second of worry just as I opened the door, he played tennis at a local club and I had horrible thought he might look like a posey tennis club type. He didn’t he looked lovely and normal with a huge grin from ear to ear. As soon as he got indoors Bruno put a law on each shoulder and gave him a face wash, which he was totally fine with. I was stunned as Bruno had never greeted anyone that way before, plus he had ignored the carrier bag with a chocolate Easter egg in,  unbelievable.

K is very quiet and shy and is rarely comfortable in other people’s houses, even some of his own family. He told me that within half an hour he was comfortable and relaxed and knew I was the right 1 then. I certainly knew the next morning when I woke up with him cuddled in so close. Then I asked him to stick on the pads for my tens machine, I had a thing about my bum, I thought it was huge but seemingly not. We had a wonderful weekend and we’re both sad when it was time for him to leave.

He phoned when he got home and we continued with the nightly calls, often 3 hours now. He had spoken with his parents and said that if we have 10 years of happiness together surely that is better than none.

He came to visit every weekend, well the next 2 before my uncle and I went for a week in Jersey. The previous weekend I became a promised woman, we used a ring I had bought myself for our ceremony. Also decided that as Jersey is a tax free island it might be a good place to by the wedding ring, not known each other a month yet.

In Jersey I phoned him from hotel but choice was either stand in reception to use public phone or pay a fortune to call from room. So I said if he phoned me I would sort out phone bill. I knew by now that he didn’t have very much money, but didn’t realise he had given up smoking to be able to afford to visit me. He also met me from the ferry as I didn’t want to sit on bus for over 2 hours.

So then it was my turn to visit for the weekend. We arranged to meet at a pub carpark as he said his house was difficult to find. So because I was very early, would I be excited, after finding the said pub and letting Bruno stretch his legs, I went off to find his cottage. I went back to pub to meet him and then to cottage. Funny thing was though that weekend seems to have become never ending as I have not gone back home. We are just do happy with each other, we are opposites that compliment each other. We don’t rely upon others, we tend to do things ourselves, just as well as we had little help with my MS.

We just love for the other to be happy and still after all this time get a thrill at seeing the other naked, we grope a lot and kiss a lot. We don’t argue, we have differing opinions but that’s no need to argue. We often do things just to please each other and much as I like people around, if it were just me and him 24/7 I would be happy and do would be be.

 

Our Night Away

It will be 5 years in June since our best friend Tom died.

When he said yes to coming to Spain to live with us, we planned a trip to look at some houses. Firstly though we had to get him his first ever passport, he was only 94 at the time. We had done lots of looking at properties on the internet and had drawn up a “short” list of ones we thought worth looking at.

Great plan until estate agents get involved and decide they know better what you need/want. Also at this time hubby and I were not communicating as we usually do and there was friction between us. We were under so much stress and I was feeling very sorry for myself, so after 20 years together we were bickering, not good.

We eventually found somewhere we sort of liked. Me being me, always in a rush, could see time running out so spoke with Tom. We pressured hubby into saying yes. Offer was accepted etc.

So now we needed NIE numbers and a bank account and an English speaking lawyer. I had read advice on government website about moving and there was a list of English speaking Spanish lawyers. Nearest one was over 100km away in Benidorm. So off we go and we get documentation done and a bank account opened, with all 3 names on the account.

Well that property we eventually found out, after we had moved over to Spain, wasn’t legal so we rented somewhere. Whilst we were at the first rental place Tom had a fall and broke his hip. The reason we had chosen this rental place was because it was flat, good for Tom and I, it had central heating, rare in southern Spain and double glazing. These we thought important as even though we had only been in Spain about 10 weeks, Tom had already been in hospital for 2 weeks.

He developed a chest infection and started to fill up with fluid. He had secondary heart failure and his lungs and rest of body were just full of fluid. Thankfully we got him into hospital in time and got things under control again. He was starting to really improve and able to get around much better. Until his fall. Because of his age and health they only gave a 50%, if lucky chance of making it through an operation. So flat bed rest for at least 6 weeks to let the bones heal. Only the shock was to much for his body and he died on 5th June 2015. We had arrived in Spain on 28th January 2015.

Many would say it was a sad end to his life, but if we had been in UK when he got chest infection, he would have sat on his own in chair and died. At least we were with him for the last couple of months and as he said ” with you 2 I know what love is for first time in my life”.

In Spain when someone dies their bank account gets frozen. Luckily we managed to get through to bank that us 2 that were left needed something to live on. So they only frooze a third of the money.

So after slowly getting everything sorted out, like finding a lawyer in UK to deal with the will. First 1 gave up on it, so we then had to pay even more inheritance tax 😱😱. Then we had to set up a trust so that we got any income from his money, that that was left after purchase of a house, and after we are dead the money goes back to his family. He was a very special friend ❤️❤️. As was said when he said yes to moving to Spain, you know you will be the finance? Yes he says but look what I get in return, “your two’s love, that’s priceless”.

So for last couple of years we have been asking how to get his name off bank account and funds released. No one could really tell us, not even the bank!!! So I thought why not ask lawyer who helped set up the account. Only now its over 3 hours drive away.

Appointment duly made with lawyer. Jan as usual given task of finding accommodation, she also arranged parking, all in same area as lawyers lawyer’s office. Mainly because she was hoping to do some walking. Because she can do a little of that now 🎉🎉.

So for first time since MS diagnosis, I booked a hotel without disabled facilities, as I fully intended to try and be without chair as much as possible, and it was only 1 night. So I booked a real cheap hotel, 30.30€ with breakfast included. I will say I was pleased they had a lift as we were on the second floor, but after our break in Lanzarote where I did 4 small flights 3 times a day, I’m sure I would have managed. The stairs in Lanzarote only happened as I “forgot” I would need a ground floor room. Oh how my life has changed.

I checked distances and between hotel and office as only 600 mt, between hotel and parking same but other way lol. Then from office to bank 500mt in different direction. I was sure I could manage, and I did. Mind you on Monday as we were leaving Benidorm my legs were aching and of course as happens all other symptoms jump on the bandwagon. So I sit and try meditation to help control things and hopefully maybe even doze off for a while. No way that wasn’t going to happen, so plan B, I get my ring pulls out and continue with bag I’m currently working on. Also as we do hubby and I start talking about whatever and everything. His mum once said our marriage would be fine because we talk about everything. We even made a slight detour to see if there had been any changes made at first house we were going to buy. It was pure curiosity. There had been, so whoever bought it obviously weren’t concerned about possible compulsory purchase if development plans to ahead.

I digress, oh how unusual 😂😂. I know that my craft work is good diversion but I forget how good. I was getting annoyed that my efforts at meditation weren’t helping. I also have found that sometimes I pick up my phone and play games on it rather than craft, not enough brain stimulation for me. So now I have to make a positive effort to remember this.

My message is keep your brain occupied if you want to feel better. Whether that be emotionally, physically or mentally.

Life

Life.

On Thursday  I was having a tough day, I was trying to do the washing up, boring job I know but after 20 odd years of not doing it it’s still a novelty for me. Suddenly I get the most horrendous pain between my shoulder blades, so most of washing up got done in 3 stages, the rest got left. I then sat and did nothing, hubby made us some lunch and we were talking about what we do about our new car. It has all been a monumental cock up because not yet being fluent in Spanish, it has been done through a friend and her brother in law. We are going to get complaint forms from the dealer and adaptation company as at moment they buck passing.

We then have to do the dreaded supermarket run, but thankfully now I can use my electric chair with having new adapted car lol. It was easier than often as we are off on holiday on Monday, so didn’t need to much.

Home and unpack shopping then check phone for any messages. I’m strange unless I’m expecting an important message or to hear back about something I turn notifications off, I also am not always looking at my phone, so many other things to see. Me noisy never, I’m just more curious than your average cat 😄😄.

There is an email from hobbies brother about his mum. She had a fall on 29th December and was still in hospital, having had her 81st birthday in there. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer and given maybe a month. Unsurprisingly she wanted to see all her 3 kids before she goes. She knew we were about to go off on holiday so was just hoping to last out I think.

So we had discussions over dinner and decided to look at flights to UK and see what we could work out. Eventually we managed to get flight for next morning, Friday to UK but it meant a 3 hour drive to airport. We got things sorted changed our flights we had booked for holiday and reorganised them all to allow us to spend till Monday in UK.

Then had to tell neighbour his services weren’t needed for airport run on Monday. Got back to house and realised we hadn’t book parking at airport, oops.

Then we had to pack, only for 2 totally different climates. Not so difficult for me as I don’t have that many clothes but as for hubby just to many to chose from 😄😄😄. So I think it was about 1.30am I got to bed, and alarm was set for 6am 🤤🤤.

It was only a 3 hour drive to airport, but we were driving towards the sunrise, only bit too cloudy 😐. Managed to phone Keith’s father from airport to let him know we were coming, I had also managed to book somewhere to stay in UK. At times the internet has really good use.

It was a quite quick and uneventful journey, and what a surprise, it was raining when we landed. I so do not miss the rain.

Picked up a car, which one of the guys brought round to us and helped us get stuff in car, so different from last time at same airport. Then straight to hotel to dump cases.

Got to hospital and as always looking for somewhere to park. Noticed after we found a place we thought would be worth taking a chance with, that they had built a multi story car park, only £3 an hour. All day for 1€ in Spain.

Found the ward and mother and father. Mother did not look good she had lost a lot of weight, didn’t have her teeth in and had head back and mouth open. It was wonderful to see the smile when she realised we were there. We had said we would only do a short visit, 3 and half hours later…

I managed to make friends with the nurse and asked what was actually happening, we knew that there had been a referral to the local hospice so I wanted to find out what was happening. Mother told me that I wouldn’t hear back from the nurse, I said I will or I will go ask again!

So plan is to get her home under care package from hospice, but as usual everyone in family has had to put in their 10 penny’s worth. So mother in her not lucid times is convinced she is going to make father penniless with all the care she will need. Thankfully my mother in law knows me well and knows I don’t sugar coat things, so took all I said on board and even managed to giggle with hubby and I a few times. Not so difficult when you are like hubby and I and laugh at the world and life. We also managed to relief some of irritating prickly itches by putting on moisturiser. It changes the sensation therfore helps. Helps on any scab to, stops it drying out and pulling skin so much, plus also much less of a scar afterwards to.

By the time we left she looked so much better, she and I had talked about the bad dreams she was having, so I tried to explain that it happens as you don’t often sleep deeply in hospital so you dream lots and being in a strange environment you can be convinced that you are going mad. Telling her about the dreams is something I will keep doing just to get it into her brain.

We were staying in a premier inn, one we used to use restaurant of fairly often when we lived in UK. We asked for table for 2 and were told by 2 of staff there were no tables, but manager we had spoken to earlier when we had much needed drink on arrival found us one. We knew one of the staff from before, he had left and returned and found out that the manager was still the same person but she was on holiday. Much to our surprise and pleasure we saw the manager the following morning, so nice to catch up.

For some strange reason I was a little tired 😄😄can’t think why lol. Next morning we pigged out with a cooked breakfast. Then we went to visit mother again. She was sat up in bed having just had her wash and looked good. Hubbies brother and wife arrived so we made ourselves scarce and said we would return later.

When we got back to car we help a guy start his car, his battery was flat bless, first good deed.

I had thought about getting cover for new tablet but it was cold and wet so changed my mind. Went to supermarket to find some treats to tempt the patient to eat, like most of us mother was not enjoying hospital food. I remember during my nursing training (admittedly back in the dark ages ). We were told patients needed tempting food to encourage them to eat and help body repair. That went out of the window then 😀😀.

Whilst in supermarket met a lady who was visually impaired so helped her out and had a little chat, 2nd good deed.

We also thought it might be a good idea to make sure father had some lunch, as he wasn’t most days, he like lots of us when our other half not around and also when so worried was going to pieces. They have been together over 60 yrs and he still worships her 💖💘

He at first didn’t want any lunch, but had just had a phone call which sounded like his daughter giving him a list of orders. He actually just fell into the chair hanging his head for a few minutes. So we just continued talking about not a lot for a bit longer. Then he said what did you say was for lunch? It did him good to do something normal and routine, first time in 3 weeks I think. We didn’t think he was going to eat all of his filled roll, but just gave him time. Then he even managed a cake, ok so not the most healthy lunch ever but it was food. It also did him the power of good to sit and just chat about other things, hubby was asking him about what to do with some things in our garden, as they are both keen gardeners. 3rd good deed.

We then went back to the hospital, according to patient opposite, whom now gets a kiss hello and goodbye every visit, mother had been very upset earlier, screaming, shouting and crying. So we both sat holding her hands and got her talking. She couldn’t remember what the front of her house looked like and thought she would never see it again. Quite a while later on she suddenly got the picture back in her head and was talking to father about the snowdrops and daffodils out there. That was a brilliant moment.

We tried some of the food we had brought, only we didn’t have brown bread and butter to go with the dressed crab, nor a spot of vinegar. At this time she didn’t know where she was so I did get a giggle when I told her that this hospital didn’t have a 5 star restaurant attached. So we tried the smoked salmon or smacked salmon as I called it. I do get my mucking words fuddled, most peeps with M&S blame that, I just blame me being blonde (Well was once 😄)and having big boobs lol. Salmon was better after being dipped in water!! what ever it takes I say. They crab worked better with water treatment too, success. Then we had a spoonful of raspberry posset, she could taste raspberry, so that was 3 things that she could actually taste, we were on a roll. I had also bought her some of her fav make of chocolate but milk not dark and been told by father it would be not good. She even tried that and could taste the caramel.

Typically then supper arrived. Tomato soup and chocolate sponge and custard. We needed help getting top of breaker as she wanted it of a spoon, I was asked to taste soup as she could decide what it tasted of, powder says I. Yes that’s it. She like me is a Heinz Cream of Tomato girl and this powdery concealed mess was nothing like it. The chocolate sponge and custard very nearly got spat out, far too sweet. Think supermarket trip was good idea. Another good deed, I love days like this.

As we were leaving I said goodnight to mother and got goodnight “daughter” in response accompanied with one of those straight into soul looks. Wow thank you mother.

By now i was getting very tired, cold and hurting. So into restaurant ask if any tables, no sorry just “no chance”, Then under manager from night before comes along speaks to another member of staff and we get seated. Thankfully the restaurant and hotel work together as that meant we could bring our drinks back to room so I could fall into bed. Think it was about 8.30pm, I slept till 6am.

Let hubby sleep for bit more then got up for breakfast. Hubby decided to have a boiled egg took ages to arrive and when he took top off egg white was clear not white, unfortunately for shift manager he was showing others to their table at the time I presented with the said egg, brilliant timing.

I saw a young girl walk past with wonderfully sparkly fabric with flashing light boots on,  ” Oh I want a pair” says I, no chance with feet your size says hubby. Little girls mum was brilliant as she then said what about his taking me to see her son’s, they flashed multi colours around the sole. I wanted them too, but again feet too big 😄😄.

There was another family who I noticed, I just people watch all the time, mum was not using her right arm and had great difficulty getting her jacket on. As they passed I just mentioned, always put bad bit in first and take out last, easier and less painful. She had damaged her shoulder. I also suggested that if she tucked her fingers under her bra strap and rested arm next to body, it would give it some support and make things a bit easier. It is so easy to help others you just have to think.

I had appropriated some brown bread and butter, thought it would be an idea to go with the crab and smacked salmon, only I couldn’t find any “drops” of vinegar. Oh well you can’t have everything they say!! Also I picked up 2 dark chocolate croissants just in case…….

Father wanted to have talk with hubby and brother so I said I would go and sit with mother, we had 2 hours of her talking to me about all sorts, her childhood, her kids, her awful nightmares she was having and what might happen when/If she got to go home. I feel so privaliged to have had this time with her and got told I was like a daughter to her. She said she wished that we could have been around for the meeting about sending her home “as you would know what help we would need” I also had thought the same but we were not going to miss our dream holiday.

Hubby then arrived and we stayed for a little longer but she was tired and needed to rest, so we said we would go back later. The couple of mouthfuls of dark chocolate croissant went down well to.

Then what do you do on a wet Sunday afternoon! I needed a cover for my new tablet/phone and only place around was Currys/PC World never been a place of choice for us but thought we would try it. Found a pack with cover stylus and screen protector so decided something better than nothing. Hour and a half later and 4 screen protectors later I said don’t bother I’ll not bother. Some things never change.

Stopped and had a drink and then back to hospital. We stayed until they were settling patients down for night.

Then it was where do we go to eat. Our favorite Indian restaurant was still there but when we went before leaving for UK the staff had changed and were not doing things the owners way and we were so disappointed. We had seen him in another of his restaurants on our last trip back and been told they had all been gotten rid off, so we thought it worth a try. We were not disappointed it was as it has always been superb, we sent a pic to the owner who then promptly phoned us back. It was a lovely end to a good day.

Head didn’t really touch pillow before I was snoring 😄😴💤.

Now it’s Monday morning and we have to fly to Madrid for overnight stay before flying off on holiday.

Arrived in Madrid, what a huge airport so pleased that airports have special assistance, it’s the only way to travel.

Got taxi to hotel, had chosen one fairly nearby. So thankful that I can still manage a few steps (actually a lot more since move to Spain), as there were steps up to reception and lift to small for wheelchair, but they did have a disabled access bathroom in room, is it just me or is this just totally ridiculous. I know that many places have to have some disabled facilities, but whats the use if the disabled accessable bathroom is itself inaccessible. I know compiling with the law that says you must have. THE LAW IS AN ASS.

Being Me part 1

I am discovering slowly that I am different, I’m only 58, very slow learner.

Like most I was bullied at school, me because I was fat. I also lived in a family that liked to take the mick. Which was ok it toughened you up and made you fight back. Life was pretty idilic until I was 8ish then my father started to make comments about my size. He was teasing but it hurt, he was supposed to love me. We also moved into a pub when I was 10 so I didn’t see much of parents after that. I did find that I enjoyed pub life though, I could take the mick and tease as much as I liked.

By 12 I was helping behind the bar, I lived it. I was fully aware of why I wa being asked for things of the top or bottom shelf depending upon what I was wearing. I was also very interested in boys from an early age, I think I was looking for someone to show me I was worth something as hadn’t been made to feel that way.

My father and I had a hard time when I was in my teens, up till then my brother and I had always been treated the same, but now 1 rule for him and another for me. I didn’t go down well when I called him a hypocrite, but he shouldn’t have encouraged me to think for myself. The comments about my size were getting worse, more frequent and in front of the customers. I wasn’t normal as I wasn’t a nice size 12 like my Mum, by 14 I was needing a 40D bra. Which I couldn’t buy locally.

I left home at 18 and moved to Wales so I was near my Mum’s family. I started training to be a nurse something I had wanted to be since I was 12. It was hard work but also great fun. There were a crowd of us who were known as the party animals any excuse for us, worked hard played hard. I had a lot of different boyfriends could never seem to find the right 1. I didn’t like sleeping on my own so would bring someone home I thought that by having someone there touching me I was getting love/affection, so wrong but I didn’t know what love was apart from my dogs.

I eventually moved to London to work, I hated it such a lonely city. I met my 1st hubby through a sexy mag advert. Then 7 weeks later went to Saudi Arabia to work. Was only there for 3 months as an Arab bus driver tried to rape me. I was flown home on supposed sick leave, but had been advised not to go back. There was talk of going to court not a good idea. 5 weeks later I got married but it wasn’t my day it was my mother in laws!! I stuck at the marriage for 7yrs only because if I hadn’t my father would have kept telling me I hadn’t tried.

I then went back to Wales as that felt most like home. I met up with some old friends and also made some new, but in wanting to be feeling like part of a family didn’t realise they were using me. It was my house that held the parties, my booze, my food and my beds and when it came that because of not paying bills my house was repossessed, non of them could be seen for dust. During this time I was having health problems, I had fallen and damaged my ankle, got diagnosed with MS. Plus a few months in the YMCA homeless. I then luckily was given a council flat so me and my Rottweiler could start again. Then I had back surgery which didn’t work, so was still in extreme pain plus starting to have problems due to MS. I was told to stay on bed rest to help my back, I lived on my own, apart from dog, in a 1 bedroon flat. Thankfully my uncle  who was in his 70’s came to look after me.